* Just a little something I made to keep myself occupied...

Meeting Someone is...

Yeah. I am here right now in Switzerland writing in my over-dated journal. I am feeling homesick, mind you. And very very nostalgic (as said on my mood icon).

I know that I promised to write the Mohammad Story Part II but I'm not really in the mood right now. Switzerland does that to you. (Yeah right.)

Anyway, Genevé (i don't really know the right spelling) is pretty boring (but alot of cute guys! :P). I don't have much to do.

I'm currently in an internet café inside the WHO office. Yes, weird but I have so nothing to do. So bear with me!

Plus, the keyboard is really messing me up. It's really frustrating.

Anyway, I gotta go. My snooping sister is looking over my shoulder.

Well, gotta run!

P.S. The Mohammad Story Part II will come when I get home. And that's a promise!

Alright. So I did promise to tell the Mohammad story for those who could not relate to my last posts.

It's pretty simple really.

It all started with a switch in seating arrangements during the middle of my second year high school year. He became my seat mate and I never really thought it would be THAT scandalous. I mean, I actually expected a year of talking to myself and ignoring the flesh beside me. But no....my classmates just HAD to make a big deal out of it.

Um....as I try to recall how it all happened (which I sometimes don't bother remembering) I remember minding my own bussiness on my own seat while Lea beat Mohammad up into a pulp (figuratively of course) and Paul just laughing at then both.

Then, something happened when they suddenly kept quiet and started playing pranks on me. Well, Mohammad did. At that time, the "tap-on-the-shoulder" thing was still going on and he so decided to play it on me.

(For further explanation, refer to the lj-cut.)

( Read more... )

He did it to me once, and I fell for it. But then, after doing it to me for several times, I finally caught him once or twice. Then as he was to do it again, Lea then decided it was a perfect way to react and cry out in a not very loud voice that Mohammad was putting his arm on my shoulder. ("akbay" in Filipino terms)

Well, we shook it off, thinking nothing of it. But after a few weeks, there came Lea again with her attempt to pair us up (yeah...right).

We were waiting for our oh-so-lovable C.V.E. teacher (can't bash him here. he's sort of....ahem....sensitive in internet thingies.) when Paul and I indulged in our daily argument about practical and sometimes useless things (mostly because I just want to contradict him so). Then when we kept quiet for a few minutes, Paul, with his trusty fan, hit me on the shoulder to call my attention. Of course, as any normal human being would, I yelped out softly.

Well, for some certain weird reason, Mohammad suddenly turned to Paul then asked, "Ba't mo sinasaktan si Sophie? (Whay are you hurting Sophie?)"

Then, here comes Lea and goes to her "kilig" mode and starts her tease fest again. Oy....it was tiring and annoying hearing her saying those weird phrases about being in love and things (she was in love then too).

Again, I thought nothing of it. Sure, Lea came up with silly excuses in teasing us but it was nothing compared to what the whole class did to me one C.V.E. class as we discussed our dear non-written exam.

They were supposed to pick a director and an assistant director to organize the exam which involved the whole class. They were supposed to pick Minerva or Heidi or Mohammad alone even! (I volunteered him....hehe. *devious smirk*) But no.....! Someone had to go and volunteer me. Me and that frigging Muslim!!! *sigh* But it was okay in the end. But I don't know if I got a 98 or a 99 in the exam or whatever. Anyway....

So, it sparked there. The whole class' weirdness, since they had been pairing unusual pairs then in the whole class and I had to be included in it.

Anyway, I'm feeling too weird about everything right now. I think I need to lie down.

I'll post up part 2 next time or tomorrow.

*Sigh*

I did promise that I would update my journal as long as this crush thing is going on, but guess what....it's all over. Yes, I decided it was all over. It started during our second to the last day of our final exams. I saw him with his girlfriend that was a stinking first year student.

Well, I'm not really angry because the girl was a first year student though the pride is still somewhat hurt but the fact that he is so stupid!!!

He's stupid. VERY stupid! He goes on and on about being hurt and all that, like he wants the symptahy of everyone. Yes, I did give my sympathy but once I looked back, I sort of said enough was enough and he can go on all on his own.

And I admitted it.

I admitted it to the first people who knew about my impending liking to him. Mark, Tam and Victor (MTV : P). I told them that the next year, I need them to help me to find a new person to love and to "stalk" (hehe.). They said that I should take a liking to someone from the class so that ir would eb easier. I just shrugged.

At that time, the thing with Mohammad and I (I'll tell the story some other time.) was still burning in their minds. I mean, sure Mohammad and I sometimes act like we're "together" but its not really us. Yeah. we're sweet most of the time but that's innocent flirting in a way. I mean, we would never be togther, right?

Well, that's besides the point.

So, it was like they were indicating Mohammad and well, I'll be honest and say that I considered it a bit but let's just say that I can't due to certain circumstances I can't mention right now. Besides, he has a girlfriend.

Anyway, so that's how it all ended. But now, I have more mixed emotions. He talked to me again in Y!M recently. And our conversation was like the usual boring stuff. Asking me about my family and blah, blah, blah, blah.

I was enraged. Solely because he used to ask me those questions when he was still courting me and it was all so cliche to me already. He's always been asking me how my family was, how I was and all that crap.

Sorry for the curse but I hate it. It rings a bell and I don't like the way the bell rings. It brings back bittersweet that half of me wants and the other half doesn't want to remember. It's like he has cheap pick up lines like, "Don't they see your beauty?"Aaaggggghhhhhh!!!

Look at how he used it:

( Recent conversation )

See!!! So annoying!!!

But when I reflect, when he IM-ed me, the butterflies still reacted in my stomach. I don't know if it's out of disgust or something or if the feeling is still there. I mean, I haven't told everyone that I now am so frustrated with him and many still think that I still like him up until now.

And honestly, I don't want to think about it anymore. It just hurts. And annoys me even more.

But there was this one time, my classmate, Michael, his busmate, found out of my former feelings and promied not to tell. And I was glad cause he (Michael) was my friend since preperatory school. all I asked of him was to hit him on the head and tell him that it was from me.

And Michael did just that.

I noticed since during the duration of the morning, he always glanced at me. I was laughing so hard inside.

I asked Michael at the end of the day and just as I expected, he did. But he told me that he didn't believe Michael that it was from me. It was hilarious! Then he said that he didn't do anything to me. If he only knew....

Yes, bittersweet, that's how I would say it is. It hurts but I want to feel it over and over again. Weird, I know but that's how I feel.

Anyway, the Mohammad story will come some other time. Too pissed off to tell it...

This past months, I have suddenly found anew emotion that I believe that I have been hiding inside of me for a very long time. It's love.

Yes, I denied this emotion. Though I did admit that I had, have, a crush on him. I admitted that fact. I admitted it to my friends, a number of them actually, but never admitted that I truly loved him already. I actually thought it was all a crush and thought nothing of it since it was all and natural. But something struck me last February 14 when I saw him lonely and carrying a bouquet of flowers. I knew those weren't for me.

He told me stories of his past love lives and how it ended so sadly. That was when he was still courting me. It was in the early parts of the year. It was when I lost him.

Yeah, he courted me for a week and ended up with someone different. Someone who broke his heart in the end. Let me tell you this story he told me....

It was almost Christmas eve, actually it was Christmas eve when I talked to him. It was in Yahoo Messenger, after I had sent my digital Christmas present to everyone in my list. A few minutes later, his dialogue box opened and he greeted me first before he gave this question: What do you think of a girl that broke up with her current boyfriend and found a new boyfriend the day after?

I was shocked when he presented me with this question. I actually thought he was happy with his current girlfriend and of course wouldn't be coming back to me anytime soon. But the question suddenly gave me a mixed feeling of hope and sadness. Knowing, I shouldn't be happy that this happened to him, I sympathized with him.

We started off talking about this topic like we were talking about a random guy in the street but I knew even from the start that it was all about him. Then in the middle of our conversation, he finally admitted that it his predicament.

Judging by everything about him, his status message, his replies and the likes, he really loved this girl we were so painfully talking about. And I have not admitted my own feelings then yet. So, eventually, the conversation ended with me saying that he should sing Christmas carols to make him happier than he was now. He sounded confused at first but considered the idea later on.

I, on the other hand, placed the thought at the back of my mind for the time being. It didn't mean much to me then. I just felt great helping someone like that. But now that I think about it, he had been asking my advice ever since. He even told me about his three-day girlfriend last summer. It was like we had a connection.

Then it all happened last January.

It was after the Drama fest. We were both participants and bid each other good luck before. Rgiht after, we had a Y!M conversation again.

(Note: he's basketballdaw14)

( Post Drama Fest conversation )

It was not much of a hearty conversation compared to the ones we had before but I would have to settle for that for the time being. I did miss those conversations though.

Then after the cheering competition. We had another covnersation:

( Post Cheering Competition conversation )

Yeah. It was bittesweet. I felt happy but sad at the same time. It was like it had a hidden meaning. He said I wa cute, yeah, but the part when he said, "That's why I courted you before." super hurt me for some reason.

Was he implying that he won't bother anymore now?

But there was still the sense of care for me. And he asked if I was going to the concert. That had to mean something, right?

But that was before Valentine's Day.

Before that forsaken day, I had cried so much, like I just found out that he loved someone else when in fact, I had known ever since. I felt stupid and helpless. But that was how it was.

My friends were there to comfort me but it wasn't enough. I cried so much when I was talking to Tam in Y!M. I thought I wouldn't cry but I did. It just felt worse and worse

Then I started accepting the fact that he loved someone else and that there was a slim chance that he would love me back again. So, I just settled in loving, I mean, ahem, liking him from afar. But it all changed.

It was during the campaign period. He seemed over the fact that his girlfriend broke up with him. He was smiling now and having fun. And I started bumping into him almost everyday. It was pure bliss for me. We almost crossed paths one time and I was overjoyed.

One day, the day was almost over and Renjei, one of his friends and my fellow SEB and party mate at that time, called me with him by his side. This is how it went...

Renjei: Sophie!
Me: What?
Renjei: Did we have a meeting? (party meeting)
Me: It just finished.
Renjei: Already finished?
Me: Yeah, actually, we never had that-.
Renjei: I'm asking you a simple question! (jokingly)

I gave an innocent pout and laughed later on. As he and Renjei were about to go out the gate, Renjei looked briefly at him then at me as he sang....

"Hinahanap-hanap kita..."

It means "I've been looking for you."

My friends were with me and they knew of my crush on him. And, of course, you know their initial reaction.

Me? I was happy. But also confused...

Did that mean he was looking for me or was it just a joke?

I thought of that the whole week until at th end of the week, that was when I got so confused.

We were in the open court, waiting for out volleyball game to begin. Then my friends and he were there, playing basketball without a hoop. (I know. Weird.) My friends knew but he didn't so we were like hiding from each other the whole time. Until they went to the other court to play REAL basketball. That was when our game began.

After the game, (We won!) Minerva and I changed back into our school uniforms and went to our lockers. On the way, Renjei, him and his friends were there. Since Renjei suddenly came to call me ny my middle name he called me Angeli.

So he, Renjei, called me and he looked at me. Renjei held me back for a few and he asked who won. I, feeling pride and happiness, said we did and he praised us. Renjei gave me a high five.

I was happy the rest of the day.

Another thing that irked me was that once his status message read: Back to what is true....back to you...

At first I thought it was some other girl but after what happened. a thought came to me. What if it was me?

So there. That's what's been mixing my emotions these days. And I can't help but have some hope in me.

Anyway, I'll keep this thing updated until this is all over and done with. Teehee.

Hope it's a happy ending...

Yes, there are Korean people in our school. Apparently, they're in our school to learn english from experience. But everyone is sorta asking why does it have to be in our school? I mean, there are other schools around the Philippines where they can really learn english from experience.

Ang guess what...I'm a tour guide of one of them. And I guess they would be sticking with us until the end of the year. (No!) So, with me being a guide, I had to change seats. I had to be at the back and miss my friends from my other seat. I loved it there!

Anyway, a lot changed when they came to our school. My seat, how our daily routine went by...everything! I mean, I didn't expect myself to be a tour guide. It's really hard.

And since they can't speak english that well, I had to use simpler words so that they could understand. But I really miss my other seat!!!

Oh well... Things can't get any worser than this right?

Oh, and I'm part of the play of our level for the dramafest. It's one of the activities in the highschool that everyone is looking forward to. Almost every level are doing their best and greatest to just win it. Anyway, I'm really nervous. It takes a lot of guts and spirit.

Hehe. Okie. I gotta go.

I'll write next time!!!

Ciao!

*sigh*

Love.

What is love? That's the question I've been asking myself for the past week. I mean, I miss having someone to talk to about how I feel. Soemone to be carefree around. Someone who can give you a hug whenever you want it.

Yes, I had a special someone before but I was curious then. and strangely, It felt good having someone to run to when your sad.

You might be asking where I met him. Well, folks, believe it or not, I met him in the internet. Yes. Out of curiosity, I got hooked up in the internet. And it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

Then, after a few months of going steady, we broke up. why? Infidelity.

Yup. I knew I should have expected that from him. I mean, he's a friggin' American for goddness' sake! And I should have known better. But the facts still remain and I fell to like him.

No, I don't believe that I fell in love with him. Though I did back then. But no, I don't think so. I mean, it was a cyber relationship. But never the less, the feelings were real.

I gave everything to him (cyber everything). I even gave up my cyber virginity to him and we had a  cyber son! It was almost perfect not until when I had to go on a vacation and didn't have internet connection for a whole month.

When I came back, I found out that he was having someone else. I cried, naturally. I decided to take our "son" with me and start all over. But my plan backfired. I instead lived with him (cyber) with our son, his brother, his brother's wife (who really became my friend) and his brother's daughter.

That was when I started falling for him again. It was stupid but I can't help it.

anyway. It's a long story...

Okay, so let's set this straight.

In school today, I was teamed up on by my whole class. I was paired up with a Muslim to make a liturgical thing! Well, it ain't that bad anyway. I mean, it will be alright......right?

Anyway, the dance is coming up! The High school dance! entitled CHILL. Cool huh? ;0) Hehe.

I don't really know who suggested that. We just decided upon it. Although people think it won't be as cool as last year's dance but hey, we never know.

Oh, well. That's just about all of it.

But before I end this, I have an addition.

when I went on Yahoo! Messenger today, everyone was so down. Even me.

But hey. People are people.

We will get over this.

We are teenagers and we will survive!

I'm running out of things to say!

Anyway.....bye!

Till next time!

Alright! That's it! I've had it!!!!

Why can't my batch mates just see that what they're doing to our section is not right? They accuse us of being nerds, unforgiving (when it comes to academics) and unfair when they're the ones who don't know right from wrong!

Well, you might be very confused really. Let me tell the story....

In my school, there is what they call the "star section". That section comprises of 45 of the top students in the batch.

And so, before, every student's dream was to be there. But now, since the time when they figured that they didn't have the chance (which is untrue since they don't realize that they're not working hard enough) to be in that section, they started bashing that section.

And I happen to be in that section!

And as myself, I make a stand. I don't just sit back and do nothing, thinking it will just pass off (unless its a completely nonsense thing). I voice my opinion out.

I mean, they've been at it since the start of the school year. I mean, what's wrong about being smart?

Most would just say that they're just jealous about us but they've been to far. I mean, sabotaging our congratualtions poster for our top classmates, that's too much!

I mean, we did nothing to them except do our best in our studies. What's wrong with that?

And the worst thing is that, its affecting the batch spirit! I mean, I don't mean to brag but as a student council member, My colleagues and I are very worried about this. (but thankfully, they still listen to us somehow.)

I tried getting the side of the presidents of the other classes but still got the same perception. And since we were discussing a very delicate thing, I figured that I couldn't just voice out what I think right then and there.

Oh well, I know that I will get a chance. And somehow, I hope that the people in my batch would somehow see what is important to us. We never thought doign the right thing would anger them so much...

Okay, first of all, I decided to not continue Love's Play. It started getting over rated. Yes, I know I only started it for a few days but to be frank the idea just doesn't capture me anymore.

But the good news is that I'm still going to post my works in here. You know, if I have no where to post them or would just want to share it with some people.

I would sometimes be posting maybe personal entries so I'm going to add a LJ cut on those stuff.

Note: Do not read the personal entries. I would be saying so if the entry is personal or not. Please respect my privacy.

This fic is really driving me crazy. I've been thinking about it ever since I started it. So, the question is, what would happen to Rex and Sarah? What will Rex tell her? Find out in the next chapter of Love's Play.

Title: Love's Play

Genre: Romance

Summary: It all started with a romance play which they had to do for a project. But as the play ends, the romance doesn't stop there. They still had to finish what they started...

( Love's Play 4 )

Great! Now, here comes the next chapter of Love's Play. It's really weird when you think about it. Me, writing two chapters in one day. You sometimes ask, how can a person do that? It's almost physically impossible. Well, almost. So, any way. Here's the next chapter of Love's Play...

Title: Love's Play

Genre: Romance

Summary: It all started with a romance play which they had to do for a project. But as the play ends, the romance doesn't stop there. They still had to finish what they started...

( Love's Play 3 )

Here it is, the next chapter of Love's Play. I know the last chapter was short. It's just that I didn't have much ample time to make a long one. Maybe one of thse days, I'll make one long chapter.

Title: Love's Play

Genre: Romance

Summary: It all started with a romance play which they had to do for a project. But as the play ends, the romance doesn't stop there. They still had to finish what they started...

( Lover's Play 2 )

Okay, so since I'm feeling a bit weird today, I'm planning on making this series in my livejournal so that I'll keep my entries coming.

Title: Love's Play

Genre: Romance

Summary: It all started with a romance play which they had to do for a project. But as the play ends, the romance doesn't stop there. They still had to fonish what they started. 

Hello! Here I am again...to rant. I am really lonely today. You know why? Well, maybe becuase I am all alone in this stupid world.

Yes, the world is stupid. With all the stupid emotions and loneliness. The world with the stupid boys who say stupid things to make you stupidly confused.

Okay, I am now ranting here because I have a stupid problem that I can't get out of my head.

There's this stupid guy who claims he loves me. I didn't believe him at first (I am not that naive.) but as he called me on the phone, he started ranting about me being his girlfriend and everything. So? What does this have to do with my mood today?

I suddenly felt lonely. You know, like since I'm a fic writer, I mostly write about love and the likes. And this certian revealation on his part (i'm not saying names) shook something inside of me.

Will I be as happy as the people in my story? Will I always be left in a fantasy world of mine? I don't know.

All I know is that I shouldn't focus on these things. I still have alot ahead of me. I want to be a lawyer someday and this stupid guy can kiss his ass for all I care. He would have to wait till I'm in college for me to be his girlfriend.

this really comforted me alot thanks.

Ciao!

 Okay. So, I'm totally crapped up about this day. It wasn't only very tiring but the people just didn't have any respect and morals. And in my country, it seems like the people have forgotten how to respect and help one another.

You see, we went to this theme park and was expecting to have a fun day. Well, we DID get to have a fun time but when the day finally ended and we were already in our last ride, the people started to get stupid.

In the theme park, all the rides were booked with people and you had to wait in line to finally ride in the ride you chose. The problem was that the stupid people didn't know how to wait. Some started to crawl down on the floor just to get to the beginning of the line. Because of that, the line hardly moved.

Since we, my sister, my two cousins and I, were already so aggravated, we started to control the line. We tried standing near the railings to prevent other people from crawling their way to the beginning of the line.

I even heard a father, or was he the grandfather, tell his son/grand son to just make his way through the people to the line. It was so unfair! I was so angry at the man that I had to restrain myself from scolding the older man.

Then, when we were already going home and on the highway, it was filled with cars and public vehicles. And we were trying to make our way to the other lane but the other cars just prevented us from doing so.

You might ask me what my point is to all this. Well, basically, what I'm trying to say is that the people of today have a very negative attitude. They hardly follow the rules and get away with it. It is also the problem of the officials like the poloce. they don't have a discipline to control these people and don't even try.

These stupid people in this case, get angry when they are told to do the right thing. It's what I don't like in our country. Our country is almost falling because of the people's lack of dsicpline and good judgement. They don't know how to look at people. All they believe in is the media and their idols.

Some media helps in correcting the attitude of our people but the masses are just too stubborn to understand what is right from wrong. they don't want to see the truth that is right in front of them. And they choose a president that didn't even graduate.

I'm not saying that there is no hope for us anymore. Of course there is still hope but if the attitude of the people will be like this, our country will little by little fall apart.

For me, the best way to correct this attitude is to teach them what the right thing is. If they don't listen at least the children be taught. There is still hope for the youth.

Anyway, all I can do now is pray and hope that the people would change. Not everyone gets the proper education and they don't see the things happening. they just follow what they believe in and don't use their rminds. Hopefully, when its my generation's turn to lead the country, the world would be a better place.

Wishing for the best.

Ciao!

I somehow feel very accomplished at what I have done today. I did not only create my own live journal but I finally get to express my feelings freely. 

Anyway, today is a new year and we should all be happy for we could all start all over. Four more days and its back to school. I miss school, yes, but the thought of going back to all those tiring assignments and homeworks makes it all the more boring.

Once I go back to school, there will be a lot more responsibilities, tests and projects. Since there is only one more quarter left to go, the teachers will be cramming all the projects. Plus the investigatory project! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

I hate this. But, not to worry. I can get over this. The quarter usually only lasts for two to three months so that means in only a short span of time, summer vacation will finally come and more rest for me. Yey! 

But then again, when school comes, I will be in my second year already. Anyway, I can get over that. if I could pass my first year and my grade school, I can certainly pass second year.

That's all for today. This is my first entry after all. I still have much more to say and do and hopefully this live journal could help me calm down when I suddenly get the adrenaline rush or too much pent up anger or sorrow.
Ciao!